NBA Fights Look Like Awkward Engagement Photos

Joey just declared that NBA fights resemble engagement photos, and how could he be wrong? With an image of two players caught on camera “brawling” with none other intention than to tickle a few good laughs out of the Twitterverse, his tweet trended. Everyone knows the so-called fights are nothing but dudes gently pretending to act mad. The replies were priceless.

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Let us start with J Bax giving us the entirely too appropriate soundtrack in the background of these staged fights-action romance montage-thingies: “Bum bumb bumb bum… and WE’LLL STAYYYYYYY FOREVVVVVVVVVERE THIS WAYYYYYY 🎶” Right? Mike Madden also livened up the atmosphere with some anthemic moments by reviving the “hold me back” from Jalen Rose’s glory ESPN days. Every. Single. Time.

Then came Cameron, deadass, replying, “Save The Date 💒,” as if the two were tying the knot on the court. After that, Nick said, “should’ve kissed” — which honestly would have been cooler than anything that actually happened during that “fight.” Chip Murphy would put it simply: “One guy doesn’t wanna fight and the other guy’s glad of it.” Could not have said better. Obviously, the “brawls” are staged ones!

Laura Bennett went philosophical while also shining the light on the illusion: “Engagement photos? Or modern gladiators? Society loves a good illusion…” She ain’t wrong-there is about as much authenticity in those shoving matches as there is in reality television. But, hey, it’s fun, right?

And—Hutch in on it with the hard questions: “U want him to punch the old guy??” Alright, I guess. Real punches are not necessary. But could we at least get some real acting? This is scrambling up some serious middle-school-play vibes with the sad limp grabs and exaggerated scowls.

Funny thing is, none of this is really new. NBA ‘fights’ have always been like that: for show and no actual punching goes on. But Joey’s comparison to engagement photos? Chef’s kiss. Literally the most accurate descriptor for everything fake and awkwardly intense about it. Are they gonna throw hands or waltz? The world may never know.

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So, next time you see two players “going at it,” think of them doing matching outfits for a photo shoot. Because that is literally what is happening. And honestly? We wouldn’t want it any other way. NBA: where the drama is fake, but the memes are forever.